Here I want to introduce you very briefly to the process of psychotherapy and potentially break a couple of common stereotypes and false expectations. Of course, I can talk only about myself, because every psychotherapist has his or her own style and techniques.
During the session it is very important to talk not only about your thoughts, but also about your feelings, dreams, bodily reactions. Very often during therapy it turns out that what you think is not really important and is not related to your problem happens to be the key to something very essential.
A psychotherapist usually does not talk a lot. There are several reasons for this. Psychotherapy time is your time. You decide what is important to share and to work on. My role in the session is to be a guide and mirror. I go with you in the direction you choose and help to collect and structure information so that you can see a fuller and clearer picture of your life.
Many people think that if they narrate their problems to a psychotherapist, they can get recommendations on the right thing to do. However, the idea that someone knows what you need better than yourself is just an illusion. You may ask then: “So, how in this case can a psychologist help, if he or she does not know the right answer and all you need is already in your own mind?” The answer is simple and difficult at the same time.
When we are under stress, our mind and body becomes limited – it seems that there is no way out and we do not have a choice. Working with a psychotherapist helps us to see a better and more detailed picture. This, in its turn, means more ways to solve the problem – the ways you could not notice before.
Our mind always creates an inner dialogue. Have you noticed that you often talk to yourself, compare advantages and disadvantages? Working with a psychotherapist, you make your inner dialogue real and finally give it a chance to be heard by the owner. Why does it not work with your friends and relatives? Because they cannot be neutral, they try to protect and rescue, they have their own opinions, try to help and give advice that might be good for them but not for you.
I prefer not to give advice, because it is like clothes or shoes – great for me, but will likely not suit you. My job is to help you find your own “size” and “style”.
The difference between psychotherapy and a friendly support is that a psychotherapist does not have a personal interest in what choice you will make. I know that every person has enough resources to find and choose what is best for him or her. I, as a psychotherapist, can help you find and activate your own strength and resources that you will be able to use not only while working with me but also throughout your life.